Coming out as Bisexual
Regardless of what group you categorize yourself in – Gay, Lesbian or Bisexual – or even if you do not categorize yourself, the coming out process will be different for everyone and will be based on personal circumstances.
People who are attracted to both men and women face specific challenges and unfortunately misinformation about bisexuality is widespread, and many bisexual people find that when they come out, they must also work to educate those around them about their sexual orientation.
Bisexuality means that someone is attracted to men and women, although some people describe themselves as 50-50 – equally attracted to both genders; the attraction is not always equal and may vary over time.
Some people work through a period of being attracted to both sexes and ultimately wind up being attracted primarily to one sex. And some people acknowledge their bisexuality after a period of identifying as gay, lesbian or straight. The journey is different for everyone. But figuring out your sexual identity can be complicated. It could take several months or several years. You may find it to be a lifelong process.
Whatever your experience, it can help to talk to someone else about it. It’s normal to have trouble putting your thoughts into words, but you may find that a trusted friend or relative will listen to you anyway. You might also consider looking into local bisexual organizations in your community where you can find support from others who have gone through the same experiences.
You might need to educate your relatives about the basics of bisexuality and what sets you apart from gay, lesbian and straight people. You could also be asked questions stemming from the widespread myths about bisexuality, so you may want to think about possible answers to these questions before you initiate that first talk with your family.
Parents, in particular, can raise difficult questions after a child comes out to them as bisexual. Some parents might say they could understand if their child was gay or lesbian, but they aren’t sure what to make of a bisexual child. And some parents view their bisexual children as “part straight” or “not really gay,” and hope that they will find opposite-sex partners. Bisexual children who find same-sex partners may find their parents expressing dismay that they would “choose” to have a same-sex relationship, even though they’re also attracted to people of the opposite sex. Likewise, parents of bisexual children with opposite-sex partners may express relief that their children turned out to be “straight” after all.
In addition, if your sexual orientation evolves over time, you may find yourself having to come out multiple times. For example, you may identify as gay or lesbian at one point in your life, but later come to identify as bisexual. And if you’ve already told family members that you are gay or lesbian, you may find yourself in the difficult position of having to come out to them again — this time, as a bisexual person.
