So, there are laws out there to protect us, so much has changed in recent years….

Discrimination and Equality

Section 28 was a piece of government legislation that was put in place by the Thatcher Government in 1988, it basically prohibited the promotion of homosexuality by local authorities, it stated that local authorities “shall not intentionally promote homosexuality or publish material with the intention of promoting homosexuality” or “promote the teaching in any maintained school of the acceptability of homosexuality as a pretended family relationship”.

This law was repealed in November 2003 and as a result of this the lgbt community has actively encouraged schools and local authorities to…..

Employment Equality (Sexual Orientation) Regulations 2003

This piece of legislation protects against discrimination on the grounds of sexual orientation in employment and vocational training. It applies to all sizes and types of organisations or employers and to all types of worker, including agency, contract and permanent staff.

An employer cannot, on grounds of sexual orientation:

· refuse to employ someone, or dismiss someone

· refuse access to training or promotion

· deny to lesbian, gay or bisexual workers benefits (facilities and services) they offer to heterosexual workers (for example accommodation, childcare, travel concessions, social events); this covers any benefits offered to a worker’s same sex partner if such benefits are available to unmarried opposite sex partners

· give an unfair reference when someone leaves

· Victimise someone because they have made a complaint of discrimination or given evidence or information in someone else’s complaint.

Civil Partnerships

One of the most recent developments in lgb rights was the introduction of Civil Partnerships. These first became available to same sex couples on 5th December 2005. A civil partnership essentially grants same sex couples rights and responsibilities which are virtually identical to marriage.

Registered Civil Partners are entitled to “a range of property rights, the same exemption as married couples on inheritance tax, social security and pension benefits, and also the ability to get parental responsibility for a partner’s children”, as well as responsibility for reasonable maintenance of one’s partner and their children, tenancy rights, full life insurance recognition, next-of-kin rights in hospitals, and others.

Transgender is a term used to describe a broad range of people who experience and/or express their gender somewhat differently from what most people expect. It is an overarching term that includes those expressing gender characteristics that don’t correspond with characteristics traditionally ascribed to the person’s sex or presumed sex, including transsexuals (the medical term describing people whose gender and sex do not line up and who often seek medical treatment to bring their bodies and gender identities into alignment) and cross-dressers (those who identify with their biological gender but sometimes dress in the clothing of the opposite gender).

Some people use the term transgender to identify themselves because they have strong feelings about both genders and aren’t comfortable identifying as exclusively male or female. Some transgender people define themselves as female-to-male or male-to-female transsexuals, and may take hormones prescribed by a doctor and/or undergo medical procedures, including sex reassignment surgery. Others prefer to simply be called male or female — the gender that they present to others, whether they have undergone medical changes or not.

“I am comfortable knowing that I am transgender, and while I’ve not begun to transition, some day I might decide that is the right path for me,” says Tomas Moore, female-to-male transgender.

Wherever one is on the transgender spectrum, coming out can be frightening, challenging and sometimes dangerous. But it can also be rewarding, affirming and cathartic. The important thing is to be honest with yourself, and — when you are ready — to be honest with others about who you are.

Transgender people often say that they are trapped in the wrong body — they were born one sex but feel more like another. Health care professionals often describe this as “gender dysphoria,” literally, feeling confusion about one’s gender.

This can be very frightening — so much so that you may deny your feelings. Soon, though, the feelings arise again. You may try to put them out of your mind, but you can’t. Finally, you stop resisting, and in that instant your world changes. You discover that being true to yourself feels better, more natural, than denying your true self ever did.

From birth, most of us have been taught to think of ourselves as the gender that corresponds with our biological sex. Society strongly discourages us from identifying more with another gender. As a result, many of us are surprised and confused when it happens.

The process of coming out as transgender begins as you learn more about your true self and become comfortable with your own gender identity. It can be a confusing and frustrating time because there’s a lot of pressure from society, culture and family to adhere to traditional definitions of gender. Being transgender, however, is merely a way to express who you are, and the challenge is to accept this part of yourself.

For those who are transgender, coming out means acknowledging their gender identity — the internal sense of being male or female — and then determining how to express that identity. Transgender people must also decide when and how to share with others the way they understand their gender.

Some transgender people know from an early age that they cannot live as the sex they were assigned at birth and find ways to express their conflicting gender identity. Many others, however, struggle to adhere to expected gender roles well into their adult and sometimes senior years. Whenever or however a person comes out, it is important to remember that gender can vary and many people don’t fit neatly into one narrow definition.

Figuring out who you are can be very difficult — and it can take time. Remember, however, that most of the negative stereotypes of transgender people you may have heard are based on erroneous or inadequate information. And what you need are facts.

Those who express a transgender identity while young face some unique challenges. As minors, young transgender people are likely to be at the will of their parents or primary caregivers, who do not always understand their experiences. They may sometimes seek out professionals who turn out to be misinformed and actively seek to “repair” or “reform” their children — forcing them to adhere to gender norms and often causing much harm in the process.

Because of this possibility, many young transgender people choose not to risk coming out and instead conceal their gender issues as long as they can. For some, this revelation happens when the need to express their gender according to their internal sense of self grows too strong to suppress. For others, it occurs at puberty, when the natural onset of hormones results in even more noticeable reminders that the transgender person’s body does not match his or her gender identity.

Regardless of what group you categorize yourself in – Gay, Lesbian or Bisexual – or even if you do not categorize yourself, the coming out process will be different for everyone and will be based on personal circumstances.

People who are attracted to both men and women face specific challenges and unfortunately misinformation about bisexuality is widespread, and many bisexual people find that when they come out, they must also work to educate those around them about their sexual orientation.

Bisexuality means that someone is attracted to men and women, although some people describe themselves as 50-50 – equally attracted to both genders; the attraction is not always equal and may vary over time.

Some people work through a period of being attracted to both sexes and ultimately wind up being attracted primarily to one sex. And some people acknowledge their bisexuality after a period of identifying as gay, lesbian or straight. The journey is different for everyone. But figuring out your sexual identity can be complicated. It could take several months or several years. You may find it to be a lifelong process.

Whatever your experience, it can help to talk to someone else about it. It’s normal to have trouble putting your thoughts into words, but you may find that a trusted friend or relative will listen to you anyway. You might also consider looking into local bisexual organizations in your community where you can find support from others who have gone through the same experiences.

You might need to educate your relatives about the basics of bisexuality and what sets you apart from gay, lesbian and straight people. You could also be asked questions stemming from the widespread myths about bisexuality, so you may want to think about possible answers to these questions before you initiate that first talk with your family.

Parents, in particular, can raise difficult questions after a child comes out to them as bisexual. Some parents might say they could understand if their child was gay or lesbian, but they aren’t sure what to make of a bisexual child. And some parents view their bisexual children as “part straight” or “not really gay,” and hope that they will find opposite-sex partners. Bisexual children who find same-sex partners may find their parents expressing dismay that they would “choose” to have a same-sex relationship, even though they’re also attracted to people of the opposite sex. Likewise, parents of bisexual children with opposite-sex partners may express relief that their children turned out to be “straight” after all.

In addition, if your sexual orientation evolves over time, you may find yourself having to come out multiple times. For example, you may identify as gay or lesbian at one point in your life, but later come to identify as bisexual. And if you’ve already told family members that you are gay or lesbian, you may find yourself in the difficult position of having to come out to them again — this time, as a bisexual person.

When you’re ready to tell people, make sure you’re as prepared as you can be and think through your options.

You can get an indication of how accepting people are about LGBT issues by listening to their reactions whenever LGBT issues are mentioned in a conversation they are involved in. If their reactions are positive, you are generally able to take that to mean that they will be more accepting of you.

Some reactions will be based on stereotypes, so don’t be surprised by some of the questions which they might put to you.

Think about how you want to word your coming out – do you want to say, “I think I might be gay,” or “I’m attracted to people of the same sex,” – sometimes practicing in your head can help you.

If you choose to tell someone remember that it will take them time to process the information, be patient with them. You chose to tell them because you care about them, if they react strongly it’s because they care about you as well.

Don’t forget that there is support; you don’t have to go through this alone.  At Royal Holloway, you can speak to Jamie, Sally or to the Counselling Service.

Pros

·         Living an open life.

·         Developing closer, more genuine relationships.

·         Reducing stress of hiding our identity.

·         Being part of a strong and vibrant community.

·         Becoming a role model for others.

Cons

·         Not everyone will be understanding and accepting.

·         Some people may feel confused or perhaps hostile.

·         We may experience harassment or discrimination.

·         Some relationships will permanently change.

When you weigh up the pros and cons of being open about who you are, its important to remember that the person in charge is you. You decide who to confide in, when to do it and how. You will also know when coming out just doesn’t feel right or isn’t advisable.

Your sexuality is a part of you, but it doesn’t have to define who you are. Living openly doesn’t change the unique things that make you who you are.

Most people come out because, sooner or later, they can’t stand hiding who they are anymore. They want their relationships to be stronger, richer and more fulfilling.

There is no set way of coming out to those around you and admittedly, it isn’t something that will happen just the once. You may have to come out to friends and family separately and then do the same again when you arrive at uni. Remember – you don’t have to come out to everyone if you don’t wish to – indeed, some people don’t mention their sexuality unless they are explicitly asked.  It is normal to feel comfortable telling some friends and not others.

If you do decide to come out, you also might like to think about how you wish to come out – are you thinking that a conversation is the best way, or a letter, or a txt?  Some people send e-mails, change their statuses on their Facebooks, casually show friends pictures of their significant others or even leave copies of Diva and Attitude lying around!

Remember that some people might seem a bit shocked at first – remember that you’ve had a lot of time to work out that you’re gay – your friend might find it a bit of a bombshell.  Just because someone seems surprised at first doesn’t mean that they hate the idea.

From the moment we are born into a certain culture, we adopt its norms and values; we are raised to think that we should fit a certain mould. For most of us, our culture tells us that we should adopt specific roles, we should be attracted to the opposite sex and that boys and girls should look, feel and act a particular way.

For most of us, the idea that we might be attracted to someone of the same sex isn’t something that is discussed and we are not told that we might fall in love with someone who is same sex.

Everyone is different in some way – we all look different, we all have different tastes in music, television, art etc.  There’s not a fail safe guide to coming out, but one of the first steps – and usually one of the hardest – is coming out to yourself.  Some people area aware that they are different from when they hit puberty, but for other people the discovery may come later on in life.  Many people suspect that they might be lesbian, gay, bi or transsexual, but often they find it difficult to come to terms with.

People often feel a range of emotions, including confusion, anger, vulnerability, fear and relief.  Just remember that it takes time and that there are people out there who feel the same way, and others who have been through it and survived.

Some people feel comfortable that they are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transsexual and are able to come out straight away, whereas for other people it can take longer.  There is no rush, and no fixed timetable which you need to stick to – just try and accept yourself for who you are.

Hate Crime or Homophobic Crime occurs when you are a victim of a crime and you have been targeted due to your sexuality.

Homophobic Crime can happen anywhere and is often due to prejudices and stereotypes. Any Homophobic Crime will be taken seriously by the police, and sentences where it has been proven that homophobia was a predominant motive are tougher.

Reporting Homophobic Crime

If you’ve been a victim of a crime, or witnessed a crime taking place and you think that there may have been a homophobic motive behind it, you should mention this to the police when you are giving your statement.

Victims of homophobic crime may be reluctant to report the incident to the police because they’re not comfortable talking about their sexuality to people they don’t know. They may feel that they will not be listened to or taken seriously.

Most local police forces have a special unit that’s dedicated to dealing with incidents of homophobic crime. Officers who work in these units have had special training on how to deal with issues of homophobia. If you’d feel more comfortable talking to someone like this, ask to speak to them when you contact the police station.

Surrey Police has designated Hate Crime officers. They are there to help you in all ways:

· Give advice – It’s not always easy to know if what has happened to you is a crime. It’s our job to help you identify what has taken place and make sure that appropriate action is taken. With your consent, we can put you in touch with local support organisations.

· Protect you – If appropriate, we will arrest the suspect at the time and protect you from further harm. If that’s not possible, we will do all we can to find them. With your wishes taken into account, we will decide what to do with them.

· Give you guidance – We’ll talk you through all the procedures so that you know what you’re being asked to do, and why. For example, we’ll probably want you to give a statement explaining what happened. And if you have to go to court, we can explain the court process and let you know what will be expected of you.
How can you make a report?

You can come into any police station in Surrey, or an officer can visit you at home. You can talk to the police directly or ask someone to speak on your behalf – maybe a friend, relative, community leader, solicitor, or someone from your local authority.

No matter who we talk to, whatever you or anyone else tells about what happened to you will be treated confidentially, sensitively and appropriately.

For more information, please visit: http://www.stophatecrime.co.uk

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